Impossible Bugs

Many bugs are confusing. Others are are annoying. Some are just impossible. This is a list of those bugs:

1. MRI disabled every iOS device in facility
2. We can't send mail more than 500 miles
3. OpenOffice.org can't print on Tuesday (see comment 28)
4. I can't log in when I stand up. (and another similar story)
5. A story about "magic"
6. Print this file, your printer will jam
7. gcj crashes in April and December, but only if you speak German in Austria
8. Processor 5 doesn't work if you're standing too close
9. A car that is allergic to vanilla ice cream
10. Some employees change the monitor's resolution without touching it.
11. The computer is filled with bees
12. My chair turns off my monitor (via tweet)

I'm sure there are more. Let me know!
Updated 2019-01-22: added additional bug
Updated 2020-01-07: added chair turning off monitor